How to approach and read this letter:

Firstly, I acknowledge that it is evident and clearly obvious that you, Andrea, have a strong opinion about who you think I am. And I acknowledge and can recognize that I know myself way better than someone who barely meets me weekly. My knowledge of myself is far more important than any other opinion.

My knowledge of myself is far superior to anyone who thinks they know me and should be considered as such, since no one can truly know the thoughts and experiences I have other than me. People can see snippets and bits of my life, but they will only perceive me through their external, biased lens of who I am. They will never know or understand the thoughts I have throughout my life experiences.

Even if you would like to dispute the fact that no one knows me better than I, you will be met with rejection.

How to interact from this point forward:

If you wish to ask questions, you need my explicit (verbal or written) consent. I also need to be in the presence of Sabrina, Matthew, or any of the affiliated friends I have. Otherwise, I will be walking away or giving you the same treatment you give me (which will be discussed in a different section).

Moving forward, I will not be interacting with you on a personal basis beyond greetings. And no, being at the Attic in the presence of the Attic staff will not be enough to get my consent to converse. In fact, being in the presence of the Attic staff will result in a definite rejection to converse. I will not allow you to take advantage of my lack of advocacy skills. Given that I am still improving on my advocacy skills, I will require an advocate (who can only be an affiliated friend of mine) whenever you try to converse beyond greetings. This is a non-negotiable boundary.

Overall takeaway:

You do not have the right to feel upset at this letter. You were wrong and have been wrong for numerous reasons. Nothing you can say will ever justify or excuse your impact and actions. You may even try to give reasons and explanations, but I am not asking for either of those. The results I want to achieve from this letter are to terminate services and to clarify how interactions between me and you will happen. The interactions will never occur beyond greetings. That is my final decision and say in this matter.

On the second tab in this letter, I will cover the different problematic traits you display and how that has impacted me as of now.

Termination letter of explanation

Now that you are aware of my termination of services and how interactions with me will go, I will explain the incident that prompted me to write this letter.

On October 16th, I had a meeting at Sabrina's house. The first problem arose just because I was there. At that time, you gave me an ultimatum that we would need to reschedule if I was in the presence of other people during the meeting.

Firstly, this is not a fair use of boundaries and does not take my feelings or needs into consideration. This is you taking advantage of my lack of ability to advocate for myself in your presence. The lack of presence of someone I approve of is a cause for safety concerns. And after I asked for a reason, I was cut off and ignored.

Then, in a meeting you had with Sabrina, you said you wanted it to be more organized. We were in the same house, so we requested the meeting to be together as it would make more sense. However, you denied it for reasons that did not make logical sense and for reasons that did not apply. You refused to compromise and even put your own priorities over mine.

You even decided on your own that it would be better to reschedule in the future, although this is disrespectful to the time I set aside and my own comfort.

There was zero reason for you to believe or assume we would be talking about both of our cases in the meeting. It is not right for you to make assumptions based on things you have never explicitly heard. Neither is it right for you to make boundaries that directly interfere with my safety. Sabrina and I understood why it was denied, but the fact that I couldn't even sit with her is on the same level as being denied an advocate.

Second, in this same meeting, we were having a discussion about me switching my major to law and politics. You bombarded me with questions about talking to people, especially in the field. I replied with “I like to think I'm a people person.” To which you argued, “I wouldn't expect you to be a people person.”

Your response was very unprofessional, disrespectful, and demeaning. As stated in the aftermath tab, you asserted your own preconceived opinion of me and tried to make that a reality through your own excuses and reasoning. You asserted your own opinion of me despite me expressing that I disliked what you said, both verbally and non-verbally.

In your field of work, being able to understand and connect with people through verbal and nonverbal cues is a necessary and crucial key to being at least decent in your job. The fact that you can’t even identify nonverbal cues and even ignore explicit verbal cues is a major problem of yours that you should really take more serious consideration to improve.

First, a “people person” can be defined as someone who enjoys interacting with others. You stated that you believe a “people person” has to be OUTGOING, open to NEW THINGS, and other comments of the like. This is not necessarily true. You asserted your opinion strictly because you believed I didn't interact with the attic groups enough to your liking.

If I were not a “people person”, I would not be as valuable to the attic as I am now. I assert myself in most groups I interact with, asking careful questions, and even questions people don't want to ask, as others have said. I'm on the YLC, which calls for a lot of social interaction in general. However, I will not waste my time going to groups that serve a purpose but serve me nothing. Just because I refuse to go to groups that don’t give me any benefit doesn’t disqualify me as a “people person.”

If you believe marketing through personal meetings and through means of personal connections is justifiable as someone who's supposed to be holding a “safe space,” you really need to reconsider how you market. On the note about marketing, it is in fact not your job/responsibility to market the Attic. The Attic is a nonprofit organization. Do you really think they don’t have the resources to hire their own marketer? Why should the responsibility of marketing lie with their own unqualified staff members?

It's a suggestion when you mention it the first time. It's ignorant, disrespectful, selfish, and arrogant for the second, third, or fourth time. It is also considered forceful and coercive after the second mention. And this is not an opinion, it is a matter of fact that even the Attic has explained in their boundaries and consent workshop.

The Attic and you tend to align with the “Preach, don’t practice,” motto. Although it may be important to preach good values, it means nothing to people if you never practice those values. Those posters on the walls about community guidelines are useless if none of you actually take those values to heart.

Thought-terminating cliches are a linguistic phenomenon and a manipulative technique commonly used by people to dismiss others, turn down arguments, and invalidate reasoning. It is used to halt conversation without addressing the underlying issue that is trying to be resolved. Thought-terminating cliches can be explained a bit in this short video

Some examples of thought-terminating cliches can include the following:

• “It is what it is.”
• “You need to do your own research.”
• “You’re overreacting.”
• “Nothing you could do about it now.”
• “That’s a matter of opinion.”
• “I could see how it might’ve felt that way.”
• “That is something I will keep in mind.”

You often tend to use thought-terminating cliches when being confronted. Whether it be about complaints about the Attic and their groups, about how you don’t recognize nonverbal cues, or boundaries that are clearly shown to you, you tend to resort to thought-terminating cliches to avoid facing your problem head first.

Your problem is that you avoid reflection and avoid addressing your issues. This is not a good solution and is a bad way to address any complaints or confrontation. You refuse and deny any fault of yours and even shift the blame onto others. “Would you say you've made an effort to try to be part of the community?” This is an example of something you’ve said to someone else.

Your way of communicating and addressing issues is clearly not working. And that is evident in how many people have brought up their issues to which you dismissed and shifted the blame. You have to do some actual reflection and work to improve your communication skills and social interactions with others. Until then, this is my first and hopefully my final letter.

Screenshots of Matthew's letter to the Attic Youth Center board:

Dear Attic Youth Center Board,

This letter is long overdue, but I wanted to bring to your attention to some things that have been occurring at The Attic Youth Center. I was a regular there from March 2022 to November 2025, and a lot of these things have occurred within the last year and a half.

Since around the middle of last year and possibly before then, there have been some pretty disgusting things occurring at The Attic. Particularly when it comes to the staff and some youth.

One of the biggest things I have noticed is the extreme blatant displays of favoritism from a majority of the life skills staff. Very often, there are youth that are favored and treated with kindness and respect, and the youth that are not favorites (including myself), are disregarded entirely and treated like garbage.

One instance where I am always the victim of favoritism is when it comes to the music playing on the TV in the space. Almost everyday, the same 2 or 3 youth (who are considered favorites), are in charge of putting music on the TV. This usually consists of the same handful of songs every day.

However on the occasion that I have the remote for music, I am subjected to collective moans and groans from staff about "playing the same music over and over again." I have attempted to confront the staff about this situation before, asking why they don't complain when other youth play the same music on repeat.

I was immediately met with gaslighting and told "they never do that." There were also several attempts made to hide the remote from me so I could not play music, however that was short lived.

Another issue I've observed with favoritism is the distribution of birthday cards. Almost every other youth in the space this year has received a birthday card, with signatures from youth and staff. I have not received one in the last 2 years, and my birthday was actually forgotten this year.

I confronted a staff member about this when I was asked to sign a card for someone else, and was told "this isn't about you, Matthew."

The biggest incident that occurred with favoritism is an incident I had with another youth member, Scarlet. Back in August, there was an altercation between me and Scarlet that occurred outside of the space. A month after that incident when I was discharged from a mental hospital days before, I was put on a 2 week suspension because of the incident that had occurred a month before.

I was suspended on the basis of violating a community guideline. My largest issue with this was that not only did the incident not occur at The Attic, but I know for a fact that Scarlet has driven many youth away from the space because she's a bully. She has made several digs behind my back regarding my physical appearance and ethnicity, but yet the staff choose to side with a bully over me, who's been nothing short of loyal to them the entire time I was a regular.

Scarlet has repeatedly violated The Attic's community guidelines in and out of the space, and has never received any consequences.

Another big issue that I've noticed is racism in the space. The majority of the youth and staff who occupy the space are BIPOC, which I've never had an issue with. Despite passing as white, I am also multiracial, as my biological father is black. There is often a very high level of discrimination against anyone who is white and/or white passing, despite me never feeling uncomfortable.

It has also been voiced by the staff that they would prefer if there was no white people on the staff, and in potential staff interviews that the youth are apart of, other staff have chosen to not move forward with candidates, solely based on their race.

Going back to the 2 week suspension I received, there were accusations made against me by staff, saying that I was insinuating racial violence and making comments that could be perceived as racist.

Those accusations are entirely untrue, and I truly do not appreciate staff who have not taken initiative to get to know me spreading lies about beliefs I don't have. A majority the friends I still have are BIPOC, and I grew up learning to treat everyone with respect.

For the staff to make up lies that I am a racist really rubs me the wrong way, because it is untrue.

A really glaring and concerning issue I've observed from The Attic Youth Center is the extreme lack of care from the staff youth regularly interact with. There are some staff members who you can tell actually care about the youth. Nadeen herring is easily the greatest staff member that they have at this time.

However, the life skills staff at The Attic have been absolutely horrible to be around. More recently, they control almost everything in the space, from the music that's played on the TV to the activities and conversations we engage in during drop in.

I've observed that a lot of the programming and special events have been catered much more towards the life skills staff, as opposed to the youth. More recently the space feels much more like a school with a heavily dictated structure, as opposed to a safe space that was intended to be used for decompression and fun.

Since February, I have voiced my concerns with Madelyn Morrison, Bryant Christie, and Jasper Liem, the directors. Jasper has often proved to be very unreliable, as he is almost never in the space, and only just found out about my numerous meetings with Madelyn and Bryant as I was being suspended.

Not only was nothing ever done to combat the treatment I received in the space, but I started getting treated worse. The last several times I've been in the space, I was subjected to nasty looks from staff (Coniyah McKinney and Noah Hicks are prime examples of people who give me nasty glares), and I felt extremely unwanted and uncomfortable.

My main intention behind this very long letter is because I find it hard to believe that a place built off of acceptance, inclusivity, and diversity can have so many staff members that do not value the reason The Attic Youth Center exists.

The favoritism and racism have been going on for far too long, and it's honestly disgusting. The unfit executive director does almost nothing to change anything, and the place as a whole is doing an extreme disservice to the queer community.

In this day and age, people are way too often subjected to hatred and discrimination. The fact that The Attic is advertising a safe and inclusive space when they're not is quite honestly despicable, and something needs to be done to change that. I've brought my concerns to leadership several times and nothing has changed, so this is my last resort.

I personally have made the decision to cut ties from The Attic, but the other youth who still actively attend deserve better. Do better.

Thank you,

Matthew Mattiocco

You did not ask me to explain. You told me to explain what I meant by the Attic was never a place for me. You did not kindly or respectfully ask, "can you explain that?" You said, "what do you mean by that?" You said you would keep my boundaries in mind but let's actually face it, you just put it in a trash can to be dumped in the ocean, never to be considered again. You repeated your question which signals you still want an answer. You still left no room for me to leave the topic.

Leaving room for the person to exit the conversation or letting them have the option to not explain to you is basic consideration. It is normal for people to expect that out of you. What's not normal is you.

It is not that people need reassurance that they don't need to respond if they're uncomfortable. It's that most people who take advantage of people's boundaries, are the people who don't leave room to question or leave. When you don't make the person aware that you're okay with them setting boundaries, that's unclear to them whether they can be safe around you.

It is not considerate or empathetic of you. You may think you are. But people can tell when you act like a man who can't take a hint to shut up. You act exactly like that guy who asks for something from someone and questions immediately when the person says they don't want to. You would be the man who would repeat that question until you get an answer and yet expect people to feel safe to communicate anything to you.

It's not that people expect you to guess their boundaries, it's because you aren't mindful of their feelings unless it's explicitly stated and are not receptive to their feelings even if it's obvious. It's no wonder if you've had many who left you. No one should have to put up with someone like you who is on the same level as a rapist who can't take no for an answer and can't take a hint to leave and stop bothering people.

Your problem (that can be confirmed by not only me but other people as well) is that (1) you take advantage and nitpick on specific wording, (2) you lack social awareness and receptiveness to boundaries which is a huge problem, and (3) you lack the openness to reflect on contrasting opinions or perspectives that are different from yours. You often project your own perceptions of others and insist on them. You deny what others say about you but also deny what others say about themselves in favor of your own beliefs about them.

You also tend to lift the blame and responsibility off yourself and shift the blame onto the victim while justifying yourself. And the way you justify and reason with yourself is on the same level as the logic behind Trump's mass deportation.. That is to say that anyone with a functional brain that isn't brainwashed, can say with full confidence that you're in the wrong. Anyone lacking the full context or who is brainwashed may agree with you. However that does not validate your logic or put you in the right.

My request from this point onwards:

Do not leave a response or message. I will be terminating my meetings with you and will not be keeping in contact with you or anyone at The Attic. If you need to give me discharge papers, give them to Mitsuki. I have given them my permission to receive them on my behalf. I do not expect and do not want any form of response. Any form of communication will be blocked and if attempted, will be seen as harassment against my wishes and consent.

From,

Local person who has basic consideration of others

Hello,

I am emailing because I do not think I can continue our sessions. I will also not be rescheduling our meeting. I want to explain to you my reasons about why I am choosing to stop doing therapy with you: The main reason is deliberately and frequently mentioning the Attic, especially when I chose to cut all ties to the Attic.

I will admit that I may have been a bit unclear by saying I was distancing myself rather than cutting all ties from the Attic. And while I don't remember my exact wording of what I said, the first and second time I told you about my intentions to stop going or going less, my intentions were so you would (1) not ask if I were going to the Attic, (2) stop suggesting I go to the Attic, and (3) stop mentioning the Attic to me.

Despite me trying to set clear boundaries, I am left uncomfortable and unsure whether I was clear enough since you have deliberately chosen to cross those boundaries during many sessions. Sharing my complaints or wishes to leave in the past and hearing others share their complaints has led to situations where I felt the staff weren't open to the feedback despite asking for feedback and reasons and being curious for feedback.

What repulses me the most about the Attic and my one complaint I will partially share is how their recruitment process for youth is like and how hard it is to stop going entirely due to how pushy they are. And by saying recruitment process, I will clarify what I mean by this. By recruitment process, I am talking about how the Attic recruits youth through a process to get the youth to come to the Attic, to spend more time there, and to eventually commit to spending a large amount of time at the Attic.

I will not be going into full detail on why I disagree with the recruitment process and why I disagree with their pushy behavior. I am simply stating my one complaint that I am willing to share but I do not wish to delve into them.

As for how I will be moving forward, I will not be meeting with Andrea after my next meeting. My next meeting with Andrea will be the last and I will not be attending therapy at the Attic anymore. This month will be my last month at TYF which means I no longer have to pick up my checks at the Attic after I pick up my last check.

Although continuing therapy may be helpful for me, I do not plan to continue that therapy with the Attic. I wholeheartedly believe continuing my therapy with someone else would be the right decision moving forward. Project heal has confirmed they are still looking for a therapist for me. So with this email, I am concluding our sessions and hope this provides some clarity on my decision.

From someone who is no longer an Attic dweller,

Sabrina